Friendly Fire
by lolululaladidah
Summary: Tom/Hal slash   The tension between Tom and Hal is bought to breaking point when an attempt to annoy Hal takes an unexpected turn
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Being human belongs to the bbc, I own nothing but this storyline.

*Hals POV*

One day maybe, I'll forget what an absolute imbecile he is. But today, is definitely not that day.

He talks and acts like a Neanderthal, leaves his dirty underwear and socks lying around in the bathroom, can't say one sentence to me without being insulting (not that I care…because I don't!), you need subtitles for every conversation with him, he swears worse than a sailor and insists on walking around shirtless and showing of that amazing *cough* I mean totally average body of his!

He just makes me so…angry, so tense and I don't even know why! The insults I can handle so what is it? Anyway it doesn't matter, he annoys me, enough said. Oh bugger here he is.

"Mornin Annie" he says as he struts towards the kitchen, shirtless, again. She glares at him so hard he can't help but notice even with his back now facing her, "fine!" he turns back towards me with his chest puffed out and his fists clenched and puts on a sarcastic smile

"Mornin dickhead!".

I stand up and push my chest against him as if challenging him to a fight

"Well if it isn't our resident caveman, leave your club upstairs did you?" I quipped, desperate to have the last word.

In the corner of my eye I can see Annie behind the bar staring at us with a mixture of frustration and gentle curiosity.

"Well at least I don't look like I'm aving dinner with Queen Victoria, hate to break it to ya mate but your copy of vogue's bout a hundred years out'a date." and then he continues his strut into the kitchen even more arrogant than he was before.

I don't let it show but inside I kind of enjoy our arguments for some reason, even when he beats me. I like the passion, the competitiveness and the stubbornness it brings out in me. All the tension I've built up over these 55 years slowly starts to seep out like a waterfall. Maybe I'm mad but sometimes I think…oh never mind.

*Toms POV*

Pacing up and down my room I just keep thinking, Who does he think he is strutting round here like he owns the place, trying tell me what I can and can't do! He sits there in his tweed jacket and his stupid cane looking like an absolute twat! Reckon I could take him in a fight defo! He's such a posh….twat! And I hate his face, it's all high cheek bones. And he's clearly jealous of my stomach, all those years of hunting vamps have paid off! He keeps staring at it, like earlier when I was going to the kitchen, he just stared for about five minutes. What was that about?

He makes me so fuckin angry! It's fun fighting with him though, satisfying. And his face gets all… dominating when he's angry (this affects me in no way!)

You know I might go and annoy him some more! His room's across the corridor.

I don't even bother to knock, I just open the door.

*Hals POV*

For some reason after this morning I found myself in need of a cold shower to wash all my frustration away, the tension between Tom and I does that to me sometimes. Some days I hate it, yet some times I, get off on it. It's so confusing! I'm over 100 years old and I'm letting this idiot frustrate me! I'm a grown man, technically I'm the age of several grown men! And he's…a…DICKHEAD! It's the first word that comes to mind!

Just thinking about him frustrates me as I throw my towel on the floor and put on my trousers. But he's so…Oh SHUT UP Hal!

Suddenly the door opens and there he is, with his muscular, slightly tanned body and his masculine stare and I find myself fighting the urge not to punch him for reducing me to this mess.

It takes me a few moments to realise that he's staring at my chest and I realise I'm stood in my room, half naked.


	2. The tipping point

Disclaimer: Again the BBC are mighty gods of governorship and I am naught but a humble fan of their work :P

*Toms POV*

"You're half naked! Fuck!" Well, that was unexpected! Definitely did not expect that amazing six pack from a guy who wears tweed! Well, I did ask what he was hiding underneath that jacket. "What the HELL do you think YOU'RE DOING?" he yelled "err well, err I thought I'd err say….hi, yeah that's it!" hold on a second, why am I so nervous? Wait a god damn minute! Am I…turned on…by a VAMPIRE?. Lets check (looks down) Oh yeah! Def-definitely turned on, wow! I should…I should just…go and take a nice long COLD shower and forget all about his toned muscles and strong arms and that really sexy way he's staring at me right now.

"What's that?" he said, staring at my crotch. Oh shit he's seen it! "err nothing just my trousers you know…air and…that, anyway I'm going to g…"

*Hals POV*

"Is that a …steak?" "you came in here to kill me didn't you?" how dare he? "No…no, it's not a steak" he mumbled "Liar!" I shouted as I approached him.

Hold on a minute, what? Vampires, like werewolves have a keen sense of smell and he…smells like …"are you…aroused by me?" I whispered nervously, "err. No! of course not!" he stammered. "I repeat my previous statement…Liar!" I said grabbing his evident hard-on. Suddenly I could see the look of embarrassment and fear on his face and I couldn't help but find it dare I say it…cute.

He was turned on. So why wasn't I repulsed? A Neanderthal werewolf is sexually aroused by me and I feel just as aroused as him, I wanted him more than anything in the world, more than blood.

I pressed myself up against him, my own erection pressing against his teasingly and I whispered into his ear "I want you too".

I didn't know where this confidence was coming from but suddenly all I wanted to do was touch him, kiss him, be near him, and breathe him in.

I kissed his neck softly and felt a soft, low growl erupt from Tom. He placed one hand on my arse to pull me in so close I could feel his rapid heart beat against my chest, totally in sync with my own.

I could feel the wolf inside him just waiting to come out, and it did.

Suddenly the tables were turned as Tom spun me around and threw me back against the wall slamming his lips on to mine. In all my years of existence I'd never felt passion quite like this, so fast, so furious and so urgent! Before I knew it his hands were travelling towards my waistband and pushing my trousers down to reveal and I was doing the same. He picked me up and threw me onto my bed trailing kisses and bites all the way from my right earlobe to my crotch, leaving behind a line of bite marks. Oh my this was amazing, my whole body was on fire.

*knock knock* "Hal? Is everything alright in there?" "Oh shit" was the first thing that came to mind! "What do we do?2 Tom whispered urgently, "just…get under the bed!" I replied.

"Everything's fine Annie!" I shouted "I'm coming in!" oh WHY was that women so….annoying! "What have you been doing in here? From downstairs It sounded like a war was happening!" she said "I thought I might have to break up another fight!", "err no…no fighting, just me" I stuttered. "Well then what in gods name was that racket about?" "Oh…that! Err I tripped…when I put my trousers on!". "I could've sworn I heard someone else in here…"she sighed. "hold on…what are those marks?" she asked, "what marks?" I had to keep my cool! "those marks on your chest you idiot!" I looked down, "marks? I…don't see any marks" I pretended, "Don't you play that game with me Mr!" she was starting to get angry, she was scary when she was angry. "Oh THOSE marks? Ha…there…nothing just…old war wounds!" I lied, "I might be a ghost but even I've had sex recently enough to know that THEY are NOT war wounds! Have you got a girl in here? What's commandment number five? Huh?" ooooh this wasn't good! "…no bringing girls back?" I said, "Damn right it is? Now where is she? Hey?" I stayed silent, "Not going to tell me huh? Well I'll teach you not to break my commandments…MR!". She opened my wardrobe door, "not in there!", then she moved to look behind the curtains "not there wither which means…" "she left through the window! The minute you knocked!" I shouted. She was so close to the bed that she would've seen Tom in a second!

"Fine! But next time remember…" she warned "yeah, rule five, I know now can you leave?" I said, not giving her a choice because I pushed her out of the door and closed it straight behind her.

After about ten seconds Tom came out and said "phew! That was a close one!". Once again he pushed my half naked body against the wall and started nibbling at my neck. "Maybe we can finish this later" he teased. Leaving me alone in my room to resent Annie until that time.


End file.
